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Romance 101 for Guys
2/4/2019 12:58:05 PM

A 2018 national report, "The Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America," shows that 64 percent of Americans are "very happy" in their romantic relationships with a partner or spouse and nearly 50 percent report being happy with their sex lives. That’s good news for couples today. But if the stars in your eyes are a bit dimmer than they once were, don’t despair. While romance can trickle slowly out of a relationship, it’s not too late to get it back.

"Counselors will tell you that the leaks in a marriage or love relationship are a hazard of daily life,” says Drexel Gilbert, author of 30 Days to Better Love: A Guide for Men. "Careers, children, bills and a variety of daily responsibilities add to the problem, one drip at a time.” But, she says, men who haven’t given as much attention to the relationship as they should can reignite the romance through simple and inexpensive actions. "You don’t have to plan a European getaway to let your wife know how special she is to you,” Gilbert says.

Instead, she suggests:

Sit beside her. If you’re sitting in an easy chair while your wife is on the sofa, it’s time to make a move. Sit beside her as you watch television, entertain guests, read, talk, or listen to music. "A psychologist once told me that a couple’s physical distance implies the level of their emotional distance,” Gilbert says. "He also said that couples who routinely sit beside each other are likely to be more affectionate in their relationship.”

Talk to her. This one is exceptionally easy – or at least should be in theory. In reality, while a lot of talking goes on in relationships, it’s often about the kids, bills, chores, careers, or car repairs. Gilbert suggests making a conscious effort to have more meaningful conversations. Watch a movie together and talk about why you did or didn’t like it. After church, talk about the sermon and how it might apply to your lives. As you drive down the road, turn off the radio and ask her opinion about something that’s important to you. The second part of that is really listen to what she has to say. 

Give her flowers . . . often. Women love to receive flowers even if some of them insist they don’t. It needn’t always be a bouquet. It can be a single flower. It can be a flower picked from your own garden. In a pinch, it can even be a daisy you draw on a piece of paper and leave with a sweet note on the kitchen counter.

Be a gentleman. "Somewhere along the way in the struggle for equality and the battle for respect in the workplace, we forgot that it’s still all right for men to be courteous to women,” Gilbert says. Open the car door for her. Hold her chair at the restaurant. Stand up when she goes to the ladies’ room and stand up again when she comes back. Hold the umbrella over her head even if it means you get wet.

"Putting the romance back into a relationship is not rocket science, but it does take effort,” Gilbert says. "You’ve got to try.” It's so worth it!
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Categories: Relationships

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